Wood Rasp
Is this a good paragraph?
The swirling fog at the peak of the Northern Mountains seemed to get thicker during the moments it took for Max to step out from the tent. The night had muffed the morning with its blanket of snow now covering the tents. Everything was silent, except for the rumbling noises of gears and metal from the nearby factory, which gave off fumes of burning wood.
“Sean, I think it got colder,” Max rasped. He took a deep breath, filling his lungs with the smell of burning cedar.
“Whoa, it did get colder,” Sean replied, stepping outside.
“Are we going?” Jess asked, popping out from the other tent.
“Yeah, just pack up the tents and grab a piece of cracius meat, then we should be moving on,” Sean replied.
How can I improve it?
Pretty good, nice description and realistic conversation.
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